09ISTHETIME

So I have had a 3 or 4 weight loss each week for the past 4 weeks!  WOW!!!  I wish I felt it more, but that will come.  Sometimes I lay in bed and think…wouldn’t it be great to wake up and be like 130lbs???? lol!!!  A girl can dream right???

So I wanted to share with you a couple of things that my kids at school said to me.  Now let me explain these are emotionaly disturbed children with many issues, so there is no filter!!!  My sister was these same kids summer school teacher and she is really skinny (no fair I know!) lol.  Well this girl is like hey can I ask you a question…I’m like sure.  She says, why is your sister so skinny?  I said I don’t know but it’s not fair! lol.  She then said well what’s up with that do you have differant baby daddy’s?  HAHA!!!  I said no, but thought it was funny!  The next one is not so funny, at least not to me….but it was eye opening and got me back on track.  She said “Are you pregnant?”  I said no….she said then why does your stomach hang over like that?  And she proceded to poke it….I said well because I’m chubby.  She said Why?  I said becuase I eat to much.  She then proceded to tell me that I should go on weight management! (this is an eating program they put overweight children on!)

But wow, I’ve gotten that question a couple of times in the past, but not for a long time.  I’ll tell you what, I packed the shirt I was whereing AWAY!!! lol.  So yes it hurt my feelings, but it was true.  So I hope that no one asks me that question ever again, unless I really am pregnant. 

This journy is so hard.  Theres up’s and down’s.  Tears of joy and tears of sadness.  Overall I think it’s about finding yourself, and loving yourself.  If you don’t want to love yourself, then you will not take care of yourself.  I want to do this for me.  I want to where clothes and feel comfortable in them.  I want to date again.  I want to not be self concious when I guy approches me…and wonder, why is he talking to me? I’m fat.  I just want my outsides to match my insides.  I know I am a good person, but this extra weight is literally “weighing” me down.  It’s such a blow to the self esteem.

It sucks though, I feel like I am never going to get there.  I feel like it is an impossible task.. But I know it is possible.  I see so many of you accomplish your goals.  I want to be 189 by the new year.  So then I can say 20 lb. weight loss total.  I said 09 was my time…and it’s about time I started acting like it again.