09ISTHETIME

Oh my dear long lost buddies!!! I have fallen and fallen hard.  A few weeks ago after many many weeks away I steped on my scale to reveal a scary number……209.  This is the most I have ever weighed in my whole life!!!! 

LOOONNNGGG, story short……I was off this summer….quit smoking successfully for 6 weeks……went back to work (very stressful job!) and BAAAAAMMMMM!!!!! I didn’t care about anything.  I forgot about ME!  I ate whatever I wanted, AND started smoking again!!!!  UGH!!! Those 6 smoke free weeks, down the drain!!!!!  All that work to get almost 20 lbs gone….I go and I gain it all back PLUS three extra!!!!  Bottom line…I just didn’t care.  It’s time to start caring.  I started this journy back in January of this year and am worse off then where I started. 

Now to focus on the positive….I DID quit smoking for 6 weeks.  I did it once and I didn’t die, so I know I can do it again.  Also when I steped on that scale I knew that I had a problem.  So September 11th I saw…209, then lost a few and when I weighed myself this friday I am down to 202.  So that is a positive. 

What I am doing seems to be working for now.  For breakfast I have yogurt, then a couple hours later I have a bannana, then at lunch I usually have a grilled chicken salad and some apples with a lil’ bit of dip.  Then differant stuff for dinner and snacks once I get home.  I basically am just trying to eat “healthy” and not binge on junk food.  This is working for now, and when I see a gain I will reevaluate. 

So I’m back.  I want this.  I want this BAD!!!  I want it to come January and say wow, I had some ups and downs, but I am finishing this year with a weight loss.  My goal is by Jan. 1st 2010, I will be back to 189 (my lowest weight of this journey.)  I did this once, so I can do it again!!!!